Manager's Tips and Tools

by Manager Development Services

Self-esteem Series (8 of 13) “The Principle of Standing Up for Oneself”

#5  The Principle of Standing Up for Oneself

Who has the power?  Why do we give it away?

To stand up for myself – to protect and keep myself safe without constructing walls which repel intimacy.  I wouldn’t let you hurt or mistreat someone I cared deeply for– so why would I let you hurt or mistreat me?  If I let you abuse me, I am guilty of self-abuse.  A healthy relationship is one in which both parties feel safe to honestly express themselves.

My life does not belong to others and I am not here on earth to live up to another’s expectations.  This is my life. I only have this one.  Next time you visit a cemetery, look at the headstones.  The most important thing on a headstone is the dash between the dates – nothing else really matters.  Not the name, not the dates, not the “Rest in Peace” or the “Beloved whatevers.”  What matters most is the dash – how the life was lived.

I have a right to care for, nurture, and protect myself.  It is right and good to set boundaries with others to let them know how I wish to be treated.  This nourishes not only me but the relationship as well.  It is up to me and me alone to pursue my goals, establish my priorities, and lead my own life.  It’s all right not to be perfect, to change my mind, and even make mistakes.  I am a work in progress and will continue to grow as long as I am willing to do the work.

I have a right to take the time I need to consider my thoughts before answering someone.

I have learned that asking for help is never inappropriate.  I shouldn’t have negative feelings about asking for help.  I deserve the same respect, dignity, benevolence, and love which I demonstrate toward others.  By expressing myself openly and honestly, I have the right to expect the same in return.

I have learned that I have the right to be true to my values, beliefs, and morals.  I have the right to live with integrity and to honor myself for doing so.  And, I have learned the temptation to betray oneself is strongest with those people I care most for.  Fear of hurting their feelings, making them angry, rocking the boat, making waves will often divert me from standing up for my rights.

By accepting and utilizing my rights, I am able to change, grow, or enhance my life in any way I determine.

And I also learned that all I needed to do to be granted these rights was to be born.  These are the birth rights of every living human being.

A powerful tool for “The Principle of Assertiveness” is:  Boundaries.

NOTE: Manager Development Services’ Blog is intended to educate and give “food for thought” that will enhance a person’s personal and professional lives.  You can find our Self-esteem Series in either our text or our e-learning course titled, “Becoming Master of Your Destiny.”


May 1, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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