Tool #76) “The Belief List”

Our “core beliefs” dictate our behavior.  Some of our “core beliefs” are false and self-defeating.  These false beliefs need to be examined and changed.  (see chapter 9)

EXERCISE:

1.  Question, question, question your beliefs and perceptions.  Be rigorously honest, asking yourself:

“Is this belief or perception healthy for me or is it unhealthy for me?”

“What behavior does this belief direct me to perform?”

“Does this belief or perception keep me living in the past?”

“What is my expectation from believing or perceiving this way?”

“What effect does this belief or perception have on my present?”

2.  Challenge your excuses – excuses are usually just rationalizations and justifications constructed to allow you to avoid responsibility for your behavior.

3.  Reflect on what in your past (events) may have caused you to develop this belief or perception.

Ask yourself:

“How did I come to believe or see things this way?”

“In what ways have I behaved because I believe this way?”

“What if I was wrong?”

“How could I have perceived it differently?”

“How may I have behaved had I perceived it differently?”

“What may life have been like had I perceived it differently?”

4.  Stop judging yourself and others. Your judgments are not reality.  Because your thinking is distorted, your judgments are your projected illusion of reality based on erroneous thoughts.

5.  Be willing to let go of what you don’t understand so you can make room for what you can understand and love.  There are more things in this world than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

6.  Accept that you are almost never upset for the reasons you think.

7.  Stop defending a thought system that has hurt you. Stop trying to justify your negative thoughts by making them true.

8.  Identify the “payoff” you get from self-defeating behaviors and attitudes. (Payoff such as self-righteousness, negative attention, substance abuse.)

9.  Decide how long you are willing to pay the price of your self-defeating behaviors. (Price such as loneliness, hopelessness, isolation, boredom, and health consequences.)

- excerpt from “Managing from the Heart – A Way of Life”

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